Learning to Love My Body – The Beginning

I’ve decided to discuss something on here that I have honestly never spoken publicly about – body image. Growing up, I never had a good relationship with my body. Everyone else was skinner than I was, everyone else was more beautiful than I was, everyone else was more “insert a word here” than I was. I relied on my brain to help me make it through school. I was smart and I knew it. I wasn’t “top of the class” smart, but I was close. 

I remember the year I wanted to go out for volleyball. And I remember my mother’s words to me “you’ll never make the team; only the rich kids will make it.” To my mother, it had nothing to do with talent (and I’m not saying I was good, but I did love the sport) and was only about money. So many things in my house were about money and how we never had enough. I quit trying sports altogether after those words were spoken to me. 

College proved to be difficult for me. In addition to the body image issues I had in high school, I was no longer near the top of the class. In college, I couldn’t even rely on my brain to help me. In retrospect, I think most of the problem was that I lacked good study habits. I was always working and trying to do too many things. Unfortunately, my studies suffered, and that in turn caused me to suffer more. 

Add all that to being an extremely picky eater and I was certain that I would never become the person I wanted to be. How could I get healthy when I was such a picky eater? When I didn’t have time for myself? When I was struggling to figure out who I was?

I was at a crossroads. I had to make a choice. Was I going to let everything in the world weigh me down or would I work at becoming the person I wanted to be?

to be continued…

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