I had my first doctor visit in two decades (give or take) on Tuesday. I actually expected myself to be a lot more nervous than I was. I dragged one of my friends along with me so that definitely helped. I trusted her and I didn’t feel so alone. Plus, while waiting for the doctor, I had someone to laugh and share jokes with (and play with iOS10 with), so that helped to keep me from thinking so much about it. She stepped out for the exam, but just knowing I wasn’t in it alone and had someone along for moral support did me a world of good.
The doctor was very sweet and no one made me feel bad about not being to see a doctor in so long. Nor did they make me feel guilty for not knowing much about family health history, other than the bits and pieces my mom told me, but even that wasn’t very specific information. From the moment I walked in, I knew they were there to help me. They weren’t there to judge me, but help to make sure I was healthy. They talked me through everything and made sure I understood what they were asking. I couldn’t believe I had been so nervous.
I told them I was eating healthier and exercising more than I ever had before. No one felt the need to bring it up to me – it was clear I understood this about myself. I did later find it in the paperwork they gave me when I left. But it was put in there as a note. No need to talk to me about it at the moment – I’m making the healthy choices but if I need someone to ask, I have someone to ask. Blogging about weight comes easier to me than talking to “live people” about it – but blogging about it and learning to love my body has also helped to keep me on track.
Learning to love my body is about doing what I need to do to be a healthier person. Tuesday it was about taking that step to see the doctor, a place that I hadn’t been to since before I could remember. It was about going to a place I knew would help me get to where I want to be – a healthier me. It was about knowing that if something changes with me, I have a place to go and ask the questions I need to ask. I’ve learned how to take care of my skin. I’ve been learning about what I need to put in my body. It was time to learn about what’s going on inside.
Listening to my body is loving it. Understanding my body is loving it. Learning about my body is loving it.