I Stopped Wearing It…

Not it…it sounds wrong…like it never had any meaning to me at all.

I stopped wearing my bracelet. This may not seem like a huge deal to everyone, but I wore this bracelet almost every single day from the day I received it in the mail. I even bought a second one when the first wasn’t exactly what I wanted. It was my lifeline some days…my reminder.

It said “Love Always Dad” in my dad’s handwriting. It was the only thing I could find that had his handwriting on it that was a message to me. I found it on this autograph dog from high school graduation that I’m pretty sure I probably found silly at the time. I spent the first few years after my dad’s death longing to find something that he wrote to me and was beyond excited when I finally stumbled across it. I wore it all the time. I needed it as a reminder.

I stopped wearing it when I got sick a few weeks back. I didn’t feel well and didn’t want any jewelry on me. It took me a couple weeks to even start wearing a necklace again. I replaced the bracelet with a fitbit – an aid to get to a healthier me. Perhaps the replacement of the bracelet with the fitbit is a little symbolic – my dad never lived the healthiest life and I’m trying to make decisions in my life that will lead to a healthier me. Perhaps I just finally feel like I’m okay after almost six and a half years. I’ve been at peace with my dad’s death for a while. Maybe I’m finally ready to start living the life I’ve always imagined.

Maybe the things aren’t connected at all and I’m trying to make connections where there aren’t any. I change the jewelry I wear every so often. I’ll wear the same necklace for weeks on end and one day change it to something else. I’ll go through phases where I wear a different necklace every single day. I wear the same earrings for months on end and then will change them every single day for a month before sliding back to wearing the same ones all the time. But I rarely change the bracelets I wear. I have a variety and if I’m going out or visiting someone, I’ll add a few more, but even then, I always left my bracelet on. I still have it. It’s currently chilling in my purse. Yet, off all the thoughts that have been running around my head recently, this is the most significant. This is the one that needed to be written about first. I stopped wearing my bracelet and I think I’m okay with it.

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