I hear your heart racing. You turned 30 and at the time, you were fine. And here you are over six weeks later and your mind is racing.
“Why haven’t I saved enough to buy a house yet?”
“Why haven’t a paid off my debt yet?”
“Why haven’t I found the one yet? And gotten married? And had a kid?”
“What do you have to show for your 20s?”
“You haven’t made an progress – you are in the same exact spot that you were in five years ago when you moved into this apartment.”
“Don’t you want more out of life?”
“Do something!”
You’ve woken up this morning with an overwhelming sense of dread. You are no where near where you’d like to me. And for some reason, it’s this morning that that thought has chosen to take control of your mind and thoughts. It’s making getting through the day unbearable. You’ve thought about going back to bed and hiding from the world multiple times but work is calling.
I need you to take a step back. Deep breathe. Because what I’m about to tell you is important and I need you to understand.
You are exactly where you are supposed to be.
You just spent your 20s fixing yourself and that is no small accomplishment. You left your 20s with a better sense of self worth than you’ve had all your life. It may have taken you years but you got there – you did it – and now I really need you to stop beating up the inner warrior because she tried her hardest to do what needed to be done.
That inner warrior got you through the toughest parts of yours 20s – your dad dying, graduating college, moving to a new city, disconnecting from the toxic people in your life, and proving to herself that she could do absolutely anything.
And that inner warrior gave you the strength to do the good things too – finding your family, reconnecting with the one person you missed the most, healing herself – do you understand how big of an accomplishment that is? She healed herself – you healed her.
And now you’ve entered your 30s and suddenly you feel like you’re so far behind. And the warrior within is looking at the past 10 years and wondering where all the time and money went. And she’s ashamed that she somehow couldn’t be absolutely everything that you feel you need today.
But I need you to stop beating yourself up and listen to me.
You will pay off your debt and buy a house in the next 2-3 years. You will get healthier physically. You will find time for all the fun things you miss. You will find your soulmate. You will find Flynn.
But please – don’t beat your inner warrior up after she just accomplished what you once deemed impossible. You will get there – repeat that everyday as often as you need you. You have a plan and you will get there.
And I know sometimes it’s hard to take it day by day. So today – take it minute by minute. Focus on all the good you’ve done and all the good things ahead. Your life is still just beginning.
And your inner warrior is ready to prove that she can literally do anything – I know you can.
chelsshearman 