My birthday was yesterday. I turned 26. The only thing I can think is that I’m now half the age my dad was when he died. I’m 26. He was 52 when he died. I scares me to think of the possibility that my life could be half over too. Don’t misunderstand me – I don’t think my life is half over. I have every intention of living to see my 53rd birthday. And my 63rd. And 103rd. But I’d be a liar if I denied the thought has never crossed my mind.
Sometimes I think about where my dad was at 26 and I’m not 100% sure of the answer. My gut says that he was living in the south – I know that he lived in Florida for a period of time and one of the Carolinas. At 26 my dad wasn’t married yet and I, his first child, hadn’t come along yet. I rest assured in knowing that I’m like my dad in that aspect and it makes me feel better most days.
However, I don’t want to be like my dad in all aspects. I’ve recently taken up running and it’s becoming my sole goal to get healthier. I still have days when I eat like crap, but the days are few and far between because I know it feels better to eat healthier. There are days when I skip the gym and workout at home instead, and there are days when I’m frustrated and want nothing more than to go for a ran – even though I’m not good.
It’s not easy – nothing in life is if it’s worth it. That’s why I surround myself with inspiring words – words that motivate me when I need it. I have multiple Pinterest boards devoted to words. One look around my house proves that I love having inspiration everywhere. Some string of words are repeated throughout – I need those words the most. Three that I always find myself going back to “I know what quitting feels like, I want to know what happens when I don’t” and “I hate starting over when I quit” and “genes don’t dictate my body, I do.”
I tend not to make resolutions – I never keep them. Instead, I aim to make lifestyle changes, but when I want to and I never start off thinking of them as changes. It starts off simple “I think I want to snack on fruit more” and slowly evolves to “no, I don’t want chips at the store this week.” It’s s learning process. I’m still learning at 26.
I’m not going to wish for anything in the coming year. I stopped wishing for things a long time ago. I just want to work everyday to be a better person than I was the day before – and I do work on that.
God will take care of everything else. I don’t have a worry in the world with Him by my side. Sure, there are numerous things I would love to have happen in my life, and they will, in time, when I’m ready, when God chooses to bless me with them.
chelsshearman 